POWER RANKING NUMBER FIVE SPONSORED BY MAMBA

 

Ladies and gentlemen, this is power ranking number five

One, two, three, four, five, poor Omari’s fading Carr
As we come up on week five, but D’Preshea’s around the corner
Omari’s boys say that they gonna win, not lose
That Matt guy really put it in gear busting out ahead last week
Byes making some dig deep, and it’s where wins could come real cheap
Looks like Spectacula, Stratt, Sonia are compet-ers
Can this luck continue, for beleaguered Swifty 3 Peater
Wendigos what can you do, Ky really let you down in week four
Who be flirting with that top spot, not gonna lie
It's all Kunz, up at the top, continuing to pump it, who’s gonnna trump it

A little bit of D’Preshea eyeing 0-5, a little bit of presha on Kev’s side
A little bit of Reed-a is what Jay needs, a little bit of Smith-Njigba Jordan pleads
A little bit of Sonia’s Jefferson, a little bit of scary McLaurin
A little bit of Jason back at one
A little bit of two makes mad Jordan

Power Ranking number five

Stratt’s up Khantz down teams movin’ all around
Jake four-ge ahead, gain some ground, pray no injuries for St. Brown
Stratt in fifth passing Kevin by
Ones in the front, have a little pride
Some have won once and some managed twice
And look who’s won thrice, Commitment to Excellence sitting real nice

A little bit of Will somehow staying alive, a little of Stratton at number five
A little bit of Omari in the weeds, a little bit Matthew’s Primo Team
A little bit of Preston coming undone, a little bit of, hey it’s still fun
A little bit Kevin dropping a ton
A little bit of Kunzes one-on-one

Trumpet, the trumpet
Power Ranking Number Five

A little bit of D’Preshea eyeing 0-5, a little bit of presha on Kev’s side
A little bit of Reed-a is what Jay needs, a little bit of Smith-Njigba Jordan pleads
A little bit of Sonia’s Jefferson, a little bit of scary McLaurin
A little bit of Jordan dropping one
A little bit of two makes mad Jordan

Who will fall for all to see, is it Love and Jason’s squad
Who will make a run and who just steps a side
Play and see who gonna touch the sky

Power ranking number five

Power Ranking Number Five, brought to you by Mamba

Mamba, "We're Different Here"

Well that was painstakingly...painstaking. But the show must go on!

10) D'Preshea (0-4, PR:10)- Only once this season has this team been over 130 points and they are the second lowest scoring team in the league over the past two weeks and, oh yea, they are still winless. Buuuttt, this week they play...

9) RaiderNation247365 (0-4, PR:8)- That's right, it's a battle of the only two winless teams. RaiderNation247365 started off looking unlucky...losing but still puttin' up points in the first two weeks. The last two weeks have been a different story and now no Nabers? Hey anything can happen and I checked the numbers there is a 99.99% chance that one of these teams gets its first win of the season...though a tie with decimal scoring would be wild.

8) Tank and the Dell-ites (2-2, PR:9)- Things finally picked up in week four and there was a chance of an upset on the arise until stupid Derrick Henry just came outta nowhere to destroy their whole week.

7) Lynch'n Friends (3-1, PR:7)- Sure the numbers are looking good, especially that number three in the win column, but injuries and byes will have this team scramblin' for a few weeks, but there's no need to panic.

6) Woozy Wendigos (2-2, PR:6)- I dunno, this team is up and down, it would seem. One big week, the biggest scoring week of any team this season, but did you know in the other three weeks this team is actually 7th in points scored? Wild, right? Yeah, not sure what to make of this team, but the manager seems confident.

5) Swifty 3 Peat (1-3, PR:4)- This team has been as unlucky as...I dunno, but they've been darned unlucky thus far, that's for sure.

4) Dum Khantz (2-2, PR:3)- Two straight losses is not how the Queen of Fantasy Football wanted to head into Kunz Bowl I, but she has given her team a pep talk and handling it all like a champ.

3) Matthew's Primo Team (3-1, PR:5)- This team is rolling right along as they just keep letting Mayfield bake.

I mean there are other players doing things as well, but I think we can all admit Baker is the heart and soul of this squad.

2) Jordan's Spectacular Team (3-1, PR: 1)- I know, it's tough moving down after a win, but there's an undefeated team and said undefeated team did beat this team head-to-head, so the math checks out, right?

1) Commitment to Excellence (4-0, PR:2)- Is there any stopping this team, right now? Well, maybe the one manager that knows this manager best could be the manager that...I lost my train of thought. Oh, well let's just tie it into the SqueezeIt Matchup of the Week is...KUNZ BOWL 1!

This could be a dandy and would be quite a way for Dum Khantz to get off the proverbial schneid. Don't get me wrong, this could get ugly.

Yeah! Vicious just like that!

Alright, good luck out there, ya animals!